The Doctor's Guide to Bizarre and Unusual Planets
by cheri1
Summary: 10/Rose *Humor* I am the Doctor. Join me and my companion Rose as we explore the most bizarre and unusual planets in the universe.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This originally got taken down by because the interludes were in script format which is not allowed here so I'm putting it back up without the interludes.

Chapter One

The Doctor opened the TARDIS door and looked out. He looked back in at Rose who was standing behind him.

"Ready?" he asked her.

"I guess so; I just swallowed that little purple pill ya gave me. What's it for, anyway?" Rose asked.

"That pill, Rose, will help to keep your body in proper working order. We've landed here on Tiempo Five. The rotation of this planet is so fast the days are only twenty minutes long here and the planet is lozenge-shaped because of it. That means that gravity is much heavier than on Earth and you and I would be crushed to death in seconds if we didn't take the necessary precautions. This pill helps counter the effects on our bodies. Now are you ready?"

"I don't know, Doctor, am I gonna be crushed like a piece of paper the minute I come out the door?"

The Doctor shrugged.

"I don't know, but there's only one way to find out, isn't there?"

"Gee, Doctor, your concern for my well-being is overwhelming."

"You don't see my body being crushed into a wad, do you?"

"Well…no."

She gasped when the Doctor pulled her out the door.

"Well, get out here then, Tyler. Time's short here and so are the people. We have lots to explore before we leave."

He closed the doors, locked them and turned around. He scratched his chin while he examined Rose closely.

"Hmmm, from what I can tell your body has survived uncrushed," he said. "Always a good sign. Now, allons-y Rose! It's time to meet the Bok, the natives of this strange little planet!"

They paused when they noticed a short, squat, brown being waddling towards them.

"Well, what'd ya know? Here comes a native now," the Doctor said, walking forward to greet him. Rose followed him glancing up as the sun quickly sped across the sky. She looked back at the little alien who was shaking the Doctor's hand.

"Welcome, my friends, to Tiempo Five. I am Plok. It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, Plok. I am the Doctor and this is Rose," he said, pointing to her.

Rose frowned. Plok resembled a tiny, plump raisin with arms and legs. Plok waddled over to her and shook her hand.

"Greetings, Rose."

"Greetings, Plok."

Plok glanced up when the sun began to set in the sky.

"Oh my, it's dinnertime already!" he said in disbelief. "My, the day has just flown by today, hasn't it?"

He smiled up at his new friends.

"I'm sorry, I really must eat something. I haven't had anything to eat all day. Busy, busy, busy!"

"That's fine, Plok. Go ahead," the Doctor said.

Rose and the Doctor watched while Plok looked down at a belt around his waist and opened a small pouch attached to it. He took out a green pill, swallowed it and licked his lips.

"Mmmm, that really hit the spot," he said, rubbing his belly. "I'm so full now I'm about to burst."

"But, Doctor, all he did was swallow a pill," Rose whispered.

"Yeah, well, what do you expect on a planet where the days only last twenty minutes?" he whispered back." A seven course meal?"

Plok burped.

"Oh, excuse me," he said. "And I apologize for eating in front of you. It was extremely rude of me."

"No worries, Plok," the Doctor replied. "I want to ask you though where is the nearest town? Rose and I are from out of town and we would love to visit."

"Oh! Why, our capital city is just over that large hill in front of you. Minnock is lovely, you'll like it and--"

He glanced at the sun as it sank below the horizon.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, my friends. It's bedtime. I hope you understand. I have to go to work tomorrow. I hope to see you in Minnock."

"Thanks, Plok, you've been a tremendous help," the Doctor said smiling.

Plok nodded. He closed his eyes and fell asleep standing up. Seconds later he was snoring loudly.

The Doctor reached in his trench coat pocket, brought out a torch and clicked it on while Rose stared at the sleeping alien.

"Boy, I'm glad our planet isn't like this one," she said. "Can't imagine having to live my life as a walking, talking poo."

The Doctor gave her a shocked look.

"Rose Tyler, that's rude. Plok can't help the way he was born," he said, scandalized.

Rose stared at him and saw that he was desperately trying to keep a straight face.

"Now, come on, Rose. Sunrise should be in about...ooooo, three minutes or so," he said, shining his torch on his watch. "Let's get going."

When they started off again, Rose heard the Doctor let out a giggle and mutter "Walking talking poo, that's great," under his breath.

By the time they reached the hill and started down, the sun was beginning to rise. The Doctor switched off the torch and they stood and looked at Minnock. Rose noticed that the buildings were dome shaped and looked like they were made out of dried mud. The Doctor took Rose's hand and they resumed walking. As they neared the city, Rose let out a gasp as Plok zoomed past them. He stopped and looked their way.

"Good morning, my friends," he said waving. "You only made it this far? I figured you would have been inside the city by now."

He glanced up at the rapidly rising sun and his eyes widened.

"Oops, gotta go. I'll be late for work!" he said.

He waved at them, turned and ran into town at such a fast speed all Rose could see was a little brown blur.

"Fast little bugger, yeah?" Rose said.

"Has to be, Rose. Twenty minute days, remember," the Doctor said, pointing at the sky.

They walked into town and Rose looked around at the Boks swarming around them while they quickly headed to their workplaces.

"My God, it's like walking through a sea of poo," Rose remarked as she looked down at all of them.

The Doctor snorted out a laugh and quickly put his hand over his nose.

"Now, Rose, that's not polite," he said, trying not to laugh.

Rose gasped when a brown blur nearly knocked her over.

"Watch where you're going, slowpoke!"she heard him call out as he zoomed away.

"It's a good thing that bugger's fast, I would have made him even shorter than he is now," Rose muttered.

Another few seconds went by and the sound of doors slamming resounded up and down the street as all the Boks ran into their workplaces. Rose looked at the deserted street in front of them.

"So, now what?" she asked the Doctor.

"Well, we could go to city hall and ask for directions to any places of interest," the Doctor mused. "That would be a good first start."

"Where is city hall?" Rose asked.

The Doctor pointed to a gigantic domed building in the center of town.

"I believe that's it," he said.

They took two steps towards city hall. Suddenly, a whistle blew and the streets were instantly filled with Boks. Rose looked at the Doctor.

"Their lunch hour," the Doctor explained.

They stood and watched while the Boks swallowed an assortment of multicolored pills, talked to each other briefly for a few seconds and then as one swarmed back into work and slammed the doors with a deafening BANG! Rose blinked as her mind tried to take it all in.

"Okay, this is an extremely surreal little planet they've got here," she said.

"Surreal, yes, but the Boks are friendly little buggers you've got to admit."

"Yeah, except for the one that almost ran me down," Rose said.

"Now, Rose, that wasn't his fault. He was late for work. Show some consideration for their lifestyle here. Time is everything to these people. Now come on, let's get to city hall before the workday ends and rush hour begins."

Rose grimaced at another round of being pushed and shoved and nearly knocked over by swarms of walking, talking poo. Taking the Doctor's hand, they quickly ran towards City Hall before that happened.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Rose and the Doctor hunched over and squeezed through the tiny door of Minnock's City Hall. Once inside they discovered that the building was spacious inside and they were able to stand upright.

Rose gasped as a series of deafening bangs echoed throughout the building. She and the Doctor put their hands over their ears.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? A PNEUMATIC DRILL?" she yelled to the Doctor over the bangs.

The Doctor answered her, but she was unable to hear him over the racket.

"WHAT?" she screamed at him.

The Doctor rolled his eyes. He took her hand off her left ear and leaned into it.

"IT'S THE BOK AT THE FRONT DESK!" he bellowed. "ITS STAMPING PAPERWORK!"

Rose put her hand back over her ear and looked at the receptionist sitting at the front desk. It took her a moment to realize that the Bok's arms were moving super-fast stamping an enormous stack of paperwork underneath its hand. In addition to that, there was an even bigger pile of paperwork that was stacked up by the desk. When each paper was stamped, the Bok quickly flung them across its desk into a little tray marked OUT. She watched in fascination as the individual papers flew from the pile in a continuous stream and landed neatly on top of another huge stack of papers in the tray. The Bok was concentrating hard while its hands continued to stamp the papers and make them fly across the desk in a fast, steady rhythm. The Doctor beckoned to Rose to follow him and, holding their hands over their ears, they walked across the large hall towards the receptionist's desk.

"EXCUSE ME!" the Doctor shouted over the ruckus.

The receptionist stopped and Rose breathed a sigh of relief as silence came to the building at last.

"Young man, there is no need to shout. I am not deaf," she said indignantly.

"It's a bloody wonder you aren't." Rose muttered to herself.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout," the Doctor quickly apologized.

The Bok glared at him.

"Is there something you need?" she said impatiently. "I'm very busy here. I have a quota to meet on these forms."

"I understand that. It's just that my friend and I are visiting from off world and we wondered if there were any touristy type things we could visit."

The Bok sighed angrily.

"Sir, that is not my department." She said angrily. "Go to the Minnock Chamber of Commerce, they will be able to assist you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have paperwork to attend to."

"Yes, but where is the Chamber of Commerce located?" the Doctor asked.

The Bok started to reply when suddenly they heard a whistle blow. The Bok sighed angrily.

"I'm sorry, sir, we're closed now," she said jumping off her high stool. "Please leave."

"Yes, but--"

"Leave, sir, before I have security throw you out!"

The Doctor sighed angrily. He and Rose turned and walked back towards the door while the receptionist grumbled to herself about missing her quota for the day. They bent over and walked out onto the steps of City Hall. Standing straight, they looked at all the little brown blurs hurrying home for the night. Rose grimaced when there was another resounding bang of doors slamming simultaneously all over the city.

"Like I said, it's a wonder the Bok's aren't deaf," she muttered to herself.

She looked at the Doctor.

"So, now where do we go?" Rose asked.

The Doctor started to reply when they heard a familiar voice call out,

"Hello, my friends!"

They looked down at Plok who was climbing the steps towards them.

"I was just out for an evening walk and happened to run into you again. I am so glad to see you. Are you enjoying the city?" he asked.

"Well, actually we've only seen City Hall so far," Rose said.

Plok frowned at her.

"That's all you've seen the entire day?" he asked, confused. "What were you doing in there?"

"Well actually, Plok, we were trying to find some places in your city to visit," the Doctor explained.

Plok's face lit up.

"Why not come to my house? I'm holding a dinner party tonight for some friends," he said. "Come and be my guests."

The Doctor and Rose smiled.

"Thank you, Plok. We would be honored," the Doctor said as Rose nodded in agreement.

Plok beamed.

"I am so glad you accepted my invitation, my friends. Follow me and I will show you to my house!"

Before they could move, Plok zoomed off. The Doctor and Rose stood on the steps and watched as he sped away. Plok got about a half mile up the street before he finally realized they weren't with him. He stopped and turned around.

"MY FRIENDS, AREN'T YOU COMING?" he called out to them.

"WE AREN'T AS FAST AS YOU ARE!" Rose bellowed. "YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SLOW DOWN!"

They watched while Plok stood silently for a moment and then he quickly zoomed back to them.

"Slow down, Rose?" he said in confusion. "I have been going slowly so you'd be able to see where I'm headed."

"Well, uh, you're gonna have to go slower than that, Plok." Rose said.

Plok glanced up and saw the sun was nearly below the horizon.

"There's no time, the party is due to start in another minute or son" he said pointing to the sun.

He thought for a moment.

"Here, sit on my hands," he said, holding them up.

"Sit on your hands?" Rose said.

"Yes, I will carry you to my house. That way, we will all arrive on time."

Rose looked at the Doctor. He shrugged.

"Do as the Bok says, Rose," he said.

Rose sat down on one of the Bok's hands and the Doctor sat on the other one.

"Hold on tight to me now," Plok said.

Rose barely had time to wrap her arms around Plok before he took off again at lightning speed. She gasped and looked over at the Doctor who was also holding on for dear life. Unlike her, though, he looked like he was having the time of his life.

After a few seconds, Plok suddenly stopped and the Doctor and Rose flew off his hands onto the ground. Plok smiled at them as they got up and dusted themselves off.

"In here, we're expected," he said, pointing to the little domed house beside them.

They hunched down and followed Plok through the front door. Unlike City Hall, the ceiling was not very high and Rose and the Doctor squatted down while Plok stood in front of them and introduced them to the 10 other Boks squeezed into the tiny living room.

"Honored guests, I am pleased to introduce you to two new friends I made today. This is the Doctor and Rose."

They smiled and waved at the Boks who greeted them warmly.

"Now, my friends," he said to everyone in the room. "Let's start out the night with a hearty feast!"

Rose and the Doctor watched while the Boks reached into their pouches, pulled out some pills and swallowed them. Plok looked back at them and waddled over.

"My friends, you are not eating?" he asked, concerned.

Rose glanced at the Doctor.

"We…uh…don't have anything to eat," she said sheepishly.

"Oh, well, that is easily fixed," Plok said, reaching into his pouch and pulling out two pills. "Here you go, help yourself."

Rose took a pink pill from him and the Doctor took a green one. Plok smiled and waddled over to his other guests.

"Do we get any water for these?" she asked him.

"Probably not. Just swallow them. Do what they do," the Doctor replied.

Rose shrugged. She put the pill in her mouth and grimaced as she managed to swallow it. Her eyes widened in surprise. She could taste roast beef and mashed potatoes while the pill went down her throat, followed by cherry pie.

"Mmmm," she said. "Not bad."

"What'd you have?" the Doctor asked.

"Roast beef, mashed potatoes and cherry pie. At least that's what it tasted like to me."

"Heh, mine tasted like fried chicken, roast potatoes and chocolate ice cream."

"Hmmm, sounds good too. Pretty amazing, considering we just swallowed a pill."

"Well, just because it's a pill doesn't mean it has to be bland and tasteless, Rose. The Bok may have only 20 minute days, but that doesn't mean they can't enjoy life," the Doctor replied.

"And now, my friends," Plok said. "I think we should end up the evening with dancing! What say all of you?"

The other Boks cheered. Plok smiled and went over to a tiny piano in the corner. He flexed his fingers above the keys and then suddenly he was belting out a song as fast as he could. Rose's eyes widened while the other Boks paired off, grabbed each other's hands and spun around and around so fast they looked like tiny tornadoes spinning around the living room. She looked at the Doctor when he nudged her ribs.

"Well, come on, ya little wallflower, dance with me," he said with a grin on his face.

"What, spin around like that?" Rose said pointing to the Boks.

"Why? Think I'm not capable of going that fast?" he said with a twinkle in his eyes.

"No, I'm sure you'd find a way to go that fast, the question is do you want to finish up the dance with my vomit all over ya?"

The Doctor considered that.

"On second thought, let's just sit this one out, shall we?" he said with a grin and a nudge.

A few seconds later, the music stopped and so did the tiny whirlwinds. The Boks applauded Plok as he stepped away from the piano and bowed.

"Sadly, my friends, it's time for everyone to go home," Plok said. "As much as I'd like to continue this party, I must go to work tomorrow. But, it was nice to see all of you."

He turned to the Doctor and Rose while the other Boks said their farewells and headed out the front door.

"And thank you so much for coming Doctor and Rose, I am honored to have you in my house."

"I am honored as well," the Doctor replied, bowing his head.

"And so am I," Rose added, also bowing her head.

"You are welcome to spend the night in my house, if you'd like," Plok said. "My home is yours."

The Doctor smiled.

"I appreciate the offer, but Rose and I need to get going. But, thanks for everything."

"The pleasure is mine, my friends," Plok said. "In fact, I would like to give you a gift from my world to take with you."

"You don't have to--"the Doctor began but Plok was already in the back room of his house before he could get the rest of the sentence out.

He zoomed back out and gave a small black gem to the Doctor.

"For you, my friends, a rare black diamond from the Chezan Mountains. So you'll always remember me.

"Aw, Plok, you don't have to give us this," the Doctor said, trying to put it back in his hands.

Plok pushed it away.

"No, I insist. Please take it," he said.

The Doctor smiled.

"I…I am gobsmacked, Plok. Thank you for giving us such a beautiful gift," he said.

Plok smiled from ear to ear.

"True friends are as rare as the rarest gem," he said. "Both should be treasured forever. That is an old Bok saying."

Both the Doctor and Rose smiled and nodded. They reached over and gave Plok a huge hug. They pulled away and Rose mentally took back all the poo comments she had made about his race. He was such a sweet guy. She was going to miss him. They rose up and went out the door into the cool night air and with some reluctance headed off towards the TARDIS while Plok closed the door and turned out the light.

(End of first planet.)


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The Doctor opened the TARDIS door and stepped outside.

"So, this is Teltubia, yeah?" Rose said as she followed him out.

"As far as I know," the Doctor replied.

"Why, aren't you sure where you are?"

"Well, truth be told, I've never been here before."

"Really? I thought you'd been everywhere," Rose said. astonished.

"Well," the Doctor said, sniffing importantly. "I've been almost everywhere. Seen almost everything. But, I do admit, there are some planets I haven't visited yet and this is one of them."

Rose took a look around at the terrain. All around there were lush green fields and rolling hills and…rabbits, lots and lots of rabbits. Rabbits as far as the eye could see.

"Blimey, this must be the bunny planet or something, right Doctor?"

She paused, waiting for the Doctor to answer.

"Right, Doctor?" she repeated when she didn't get a response.

"It's alive."

Rose looked at him.

"Huh? What's alive?" she asked him.

The Doctor pointed up at the sky.

"The sun is alive!" he said in a hushed voice.

Rose looked up and let out a startled scream when she saw an enormous baby's head right in the middle of the sun. Rose and the Doctor stared at the sun baby in shock while it stared back at them and gurgled softly.

"Doctor, it's a baby!" Rose said, pointing up to it.

"Well done, old Hawkeye, nothing escapes that microscopic gaze of yours, does it?" the Doctor said, dryly.

Rose ignored him.

"What's a baby doing in the middle of the sun?" she said.

The Doctor stared at the baby who was now grinning at them.

"Um, offhand, I'd say it's drooling on itself," he said.

"No, I mean why is there a baby in the middle of that sun?"

"I haven't the foggiest idea, Rose."

"Well, didn't you ever hear about something like this?"

"No, sadly, the professors I had at the Time Lord Academy seemed to have skipped over the section that mentioned gargantuan babies that live in suns," he said. "You wanna know what it's doing there, ask it."

"Doctor, it's a baby. I doubt if it can even talk yet."

The Doctor shrugged.

"Well, then I don't know what to tell you. I suppose we'll just have to find someone who can explain it to us."

"GAH!"

They both jumped when the baby yelled at them. They looked up and saw he was giggling insanely while he stared at them with wide eyes.

"Um, yeah, let's go find that someone right now," the Doctor said, taking Rose's hand.

They walked off in search of someone to talk to. As they stepped over the sleeping bunnies and navigated around the huge mounds of rabbit poo they kept glancing up at the sun baby who was watching their every move with interest.

"God, that thing gives me the creeps," Rose muttered.

"GOO-GAH!"

Rose glanced at the baby and quickly ducked her head down when she noticed he was staring directly at her.

They reached the top of a hill and paused when they noticed an enormous hole in the center of it. The Doctor inched over and gazed into it.

"That's one big, bloody bunny," he muttered, trying to see into the darkness.

"Should we keep going?" Rose asked.

"Yeah, before whatever's in this hole decides to wake up," the Doctor replied.

They went down the other side of the hill. They stopped short when they reached the bottom while a little periscope-type object slowly rose up out of the ground in front of them. Curious, the Doctor walked over and examined the speaker on the end of it. He jumped back when a woman's voice bellowed out.

"INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!"

"Um, that doesn't sound good," the Doctor said. "Come on, Rose, back to the TARD…"

He and Rose gasped while a purple alien jumped up out of the hole in the hill and landed in front of them.

"TINKY-WINKY!" the alien cried out

A green alien followed him out of the hole and landed beside him.

"DIPSY!" it yelled.

A yellow alien jumped out and landed beside the others.

"LAA-LAA!" It said.

And finally a little red alien jumped out.

"PO!"

As one, the four aliens yelled out "EH-OH!" to the newcomers.

Rose and the Doctor stared at the four chubby aliens standing before them.

"Now what do we do?" Rose asked.

The Doctor cleared his throat.

"Um...Greetings, I am the Doctor and this is Rose. We come in peace."

He paused for a response. The four aliens stared back at him silently. He shrugged.

"We are travelers," he said. "We are only passing through so please don't kill us."

Tinky-Winky stepped forward and pointed to his belly. The Doctor looked down and noticed there was a television screen there. He looked at Rose.

"This planet is amazing," he said to her. "Television in their stomachs. Now that is evolution!"

They looked back when the screen flickered to life. The other aliens gathered around Tinky-Winky as an image appeared. Rose and the Doctor bent down and saw a brown colored alien who had a wrinkled face and a long, snow-white beard. He was carrying a wooden staff in one hand and was waving to them.

"Greetings, Strangers!" the alien said to the Doctor and Rose. "I am Chief Tub-Tub of the Teletubbie tribe. I welcome you both to Teltubia!"

"Um…thank you Chief Tub-Tub, I am the Doctor and this is Rose. It's an honor to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine," Tub-Tub said. "What brings you here to our planet?"

"We are explorers. We're just visiting your planet out of curiosity," the Doctor replied. "We wish to learn more about the inhabitants here."

"Then, I shall satisfy your curiosity. My four loyal guards shall escort you to our village where a huge feast shall be prepared in your honor."

The Doctor bowed his head and Rose did likewise.

"Thank you, Chief Tub-Tub; it will be a pleasure to dine with you and your people," the Doctor said.

Tub-Tub smiled at them. He looked up at what the Doctor assumed was Tinky-Winky.

"Escort our visitors to the village, Tinky-Winky," he said.

"Okay!" Tinky-Winky said happily.

Tub-Tub looked at the Doctor and Rose.

"Follow them. My guards will lead you to us."

The Doctor and Rose bowed again.

"And now I must go and prepare the feast. I shall see you in the village, "Tub-Tub said.

The image faded from the screen while the Doctor and Rose leaned back up.

"AGAIN!" Tinky-Winky shrieked.

"AGAIN, AGAIN!" the others said, jumping up and down.

The Doctor and Rose looked at each other as the screen flickered and Tub-Tub came back. He chuckled at the excited guards.

"Not now, my guards, you have a job to do!" he said, fondly.

The image faded again while the teletubbies let out a disappointed moan. The disappointment was quickly forgotten, however, when Tinky-Winky took the Doctor and Rose's hand and he and the others led them towards their village.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

The Doctor and Rose followed the four Teletubbies while they led them towards their village.

"So, that's your boss, eh?" the Doctor asked Po.

Po stared up at him with a wide smile.

"Chief Tub-Tub, you work for him?" the Doctor said.

Po giggled and skipped on ahead.

"O…kay that got me absolutely nowhere," the Doctor muttered to Rose.

"Maybe they're just shy," Rose offered.

"Didn't seem too shy before," the Doctor replied.

He shrugged.

"Ah well, I suppose the Chief will explain everything once we get to the village," he sighed.

He glanced up at the sun baby and saw he was burbling and cooing to himself.

"And first on the list of explanations will be that thing," he said pointing to it.

GAAAAAAAAH OOOOOOO GAH!

The Doctor glanced at Rose.

"GOO GOO GAH GAH!" he said to the sun.

The sun baby grinned from ear to ear and laughed.

AAAAH? GOOOOOOO!

"Oooo, eeee, ooo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang!" the Doctor replied back.

The sun baby roared with laughter.

"Wow, Doctor, you finally found someone who communicates on your level," Rose said.

The Doctor eyed her and swatted the back of her head when she giggled.

"Yeah, that's really funny Rose Ty…LER!"

The Doctor screamed when his foot hit rabbit poo. He flew into the air and landed with a thud on the ground.

"UH-OOOOOOOOH!" the Teletubbies said in unison.

Trying hard not to laugh, Rose helped the Doctor to his feet. He looked down at the poo on the bottom of his plimsoll and cursed under his breath. He noticed a rabbit lying nearby and lifted his foot to kick it, hesitated a moment and with a sigh, lowered his foot and walked on. Rose smiled at him and ruffled his hair affectionately and the Doctor instantly forgot all about the incident as he took her hand and walked behind the Teletubbies.

Twenty minutes later they reached the top of a high hill. Beyond it, they could see a city built out of the nearby hills. Teletubbies of every size and color moved in and among the hill houses laughing, singing and dancing. In the center of the village a giant arena towered over the countryside. Its sheer size made it look out of place in the rustic setting.

The Doctor sighed when he noticed hundreds more rabbits lying on and around the hill houses.

"They need to seriously think about sterilizing some of these animals before they're up to their armpits in bunnies, "the Doctor muttered.

The Teletubbies in the village noticed their four friends were with the Doctor and Rose.

"EH-OH!" they yelled to them.

"EH-OH!" the four Teletubbies yelled back.

Giggling, they ran away from the Doctor and Rose towards the others.

"Well, wait a moment! What about us?" the Doctor yelled at them. "Where's Chief Tub-Tub?"

He sighed when the Teletubbies ignored him, ran over to some other Teletubbies and began to dance with them.

"So, what do we do, Doctor?"

The Doctor shrugged.

"I guess we go ahead and walk into the village. Hopefully, Chief Tub-Tub will spot us walking around and show us where to go; especially since our four friends are now too busy having a hoedown with the other Teletubbies."

He took Rose's hand and they walked into the village. Once they reached the hill houses they slowed down and took in their surroundings. A group of Teletubbies were dancing and laughing together and they paused to watch. One Teletubbie did a dance move and the others imitated him laughing in high-pitched voices. Rose couldn't help but smile at them.

"Doctor, you gotta admit they're cu…"

She paused when she noticed the Doctor was doing the dance moves along with the others. He quickly stopped and cleared his throat when he caught her looking at him.

"Tribal dances, I expect," he said in his scholarly tone of voice. "I was just imitating them in an effort to fit in."

"Yeah, right, Doctor," Rose muttered.

"Welcome!"

The Doctor and Rose looked over when Tub-Tub walked up. The Doctor bowed and Rose followed suit. Tub-Tub walked over to the Doctor's side and stopped.

"How do you like our village?" he asked them.

"Well, it's…interesting," the Doctor said.

"We were wondering though about the…baby," Rose said pointing up to the sun.

Tub-Tub glanced up with a reverent look at the infant.

"Ah yes, that is our god," he said, pointing at the baby with his staff.

The Doctor and Rose stared at him.

"Your god?" the Doctor said in disbelief. "You worship a baby?"

"Oh yes, Gerber is our god. He is the one who created us," Tub-Tub said. "Our ancient lore says that at the beginning of time, Gerber was searching for other life forms in the universe so he wouldn't be lonely and his search made him very hungry. He ate the Tubby Custard that he found on this planet. Then, he spit up and the Tubby Custard fell to Teltubia and became the first Teletubbies. We have paid him reverence ever since."

The Doctor and Rose stared at him in silent shock.

"You and your people are made outta spit up Custard," Rose said, trying to keep a straight face.

"Yes."

Rose turned away.

"Blimey, now I've heard everything," she muttered as the Doctor tried not to laugh.

She turned back.

"So, um, what happens if you don't pay Gerber…reverence?" she asked.

"Oh, we would never do that. We worship him completely," Tub-Tub said, shocked.

"Yeah, but I'm just asking what if, you know, just what if ya didn't; what would happen?" Rose asked.

"Oh, Gerber would bring plagues and pestilence upon this land and deny us sustenance and we would surely die," Tub-Tub said gravely.

Rose stared at him. She turned and looked up at the vengeful baby god and noticed he had a trail of snot running out of his nose while he cooed back at her.

"Um, somehow I find that hard to believe," she said.

"But, come, enough talk for now. We must show you to your room so you can rest up before the feast," Tub-Tub said.

He beckoned and they followed while he led them away from the dancing Teletubbies towards the arena.

"There is a guest house near the stadium. You can rest there while my subjects prepare your meal."

They Doctor nodded. While they walked, the Doctor looked around at the other Teletubbies and frowned when he noticed they seemed to be communicating to each other in one word sentences.

"Excuse me, Chief Tub-Tub," the Doctor said. "But I can't help noticing that you're the only Teletubbie who seems to be capable of forming complete sentences."

Tub-Tub chuckled.

"That is because I am the most intelligent Teletubbie here," he said. "The others are smart in their own little way but, mentally, they are at the level of toddlers. I am much more advanced which is why I was chosen to lead them."

"Oh, okay, just wondering," the Doctor said.

They stopped at a little hill house.

"In here," he said, opening the door. "You will find a couple of beds where you can rest. When we are ready, I will send someone to fetch you."

"Righty-o!" the Doctor said cheerfully.

He took Rose's hand and led her into the hill house. Tub-Tub waited until they shut the door before hurrying away.

He walked out of the village and climbed a nearby hill. Reaching the top, he laid down his staff and prostrated before the sun baby.

"Oh Gerber, great and powerful god of the Teletubbies," he said with reverence. "Today, we will hold a feast in your honor and after it we will perform the annual blood sacrifice. Please, bless us, oh Gerber and accept these stranger's hearts as an offering. Give us your bounty, merciful one! Accept our tribute!"

He knelt on the hill for a moment while the sun baby stared down at him, enraptured. Finally, he bowed his head and got to his feet.

"Thank you, great one," he said, bowing his head one more time.

Smiling to himself, he picked up his staff, turned and headed back down the hill towards the village.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

The Doctor and Rose lay together on one of the cots while they stared up at the domed ceiling above them. Rose laid her arm across his chest while he stroked her back.

"So, what d'ya think?"

Rose looked at the Doctor.

"About what?" she asked.

"Our friends. What d'ya think about them?"

Rose shrugged.

"They're okay, I guess. Very childlike. Their "god" is weird, but other than that they're kinda cute."

She frowned.

"Why?" she asked.

"Dunno, just a feeling. I have this funny feeling things aren't as innocent as they seem around here."

"Doctor, you get that feeling all the time, yeah? It's because you keep running into trouble."

"Yeah, maybe…maybe not," he muttered. "I'm usually not wrong about these things though."

"So, you think these Teletubbie things are really some kind of demonic creature?"

The Doctor shrugged.

"Wouldn't be the first time it's happened," he said. "Anyway, I'm reserving judgment on our friends for the moment."

They looked over when the little wooden door opened up and Laa-Laa looked inside.

"Feast!" she said.

"Oh, are they all ready for us then?" the Doctor asked.

"Feast!" Laa-Laa repeated.

"You heard her, Rose. Feast!" the Doctor said.

He waited until she had gotten up off of him before getting up and grabbing his trench coat.

"Lead the way little Teletubbie," he said cheerfully.

Laa-Laa giggled and stepped aside while the Doctor and Rose emerged from the hill house.

They took each other hands and followed Laa-Laa as she led them towards the arena.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Blimey!" Rose said when they stepped inside the arena.

They looked around at the hundreds of Teletubbies sitting on all sides of the arena and looking at them intently.

"EH-OH!" they said in unison waving to the Doctor and Rose.

The Doctor and Rose waved back. They looked over at two stone tables sitting in the center of the arena.

"Must be where they'll place the food," the Doctor said gesturing to them.

Rose glanced up when Gerber suddenly appeared overhead.

"Doctor, the sun baby…Gerber or whatever its name is…it just moved over here," Rose said gesturing up to it. "Can suns even do that?"

The Doctor glanced up at it and shrugged.

"Dunno, Rose, I said I'm not an expert on sun baby gods. Tub-Tub said at the beginning of time it went searching the universe for a friend and found this place."

"Yeah, but that's just a myth, isn't it?"

The Doctor shrugged.

"Most myths have some grain of truth to them," he said. "If the baby just moved over here, I'd say Tub-Tub was correct about it being capable of independent movement."

"I just hope this feast gets over quickly, this whole planet gives me the creeps," Rose said.

The Doctor took her hand and smiled at her. They looked over when a door in the side of the arena opened and Tub-Tub emerged with Tinky-Winky behind him. The Doctor frowned when he noticed Tinky-Winky seemed to be carrying a little red purse with him.

"I trust your accommodations were suitable," Tub-Tub said smiling.

"Yes, they were very nice," the Doctor said.

Tub-Tub gestured to Tinky-Winky who stepped forward and held out his red purse. He reached in, brought out a gold medallion and put it on.

"This bag contains the regalia that I use for special occasions," he explained to the Doctor and Rose. "Tinky-Winky is in charge of looking after it."

The Doctor and Rose nodded. Tub-Tub nodded to Tinky-Winky and he closed the bag and hurried back out the door.

"My guards are bringing out the food," Tub-Tub said as Po emerged from the door carrying two blankets.

Tub-Tub beckoned to the Doctor and Rose while Po spread the blankets out on the grass in front of the two stone tables.

"You will sit here," Tub-Tub said.

The Doctor and Rose sat down while Po ran back through the door. A moment later, she and the other Teletubbies emerged carrying bowls and cups. They sat them down in front of the Doctor and Rose and stepped back.

"We have made you two of our planet's specialties," Tub-Tub said while they looked in the bowls. "Tubby Custard and Fried Rabbit. And the drink in your glasses is Bombleberry juice. Enjoy!"

The Doctor paused and looked around at the assembled Teletubbies.

"What about them? Aren't they eating?" the Doctor asked Tub-Tub.

"Oh no, we've already eaten. We've made this feast especially for you. Enjoy!"

The Doctor gave him a suspicious look. He looked down at the Tubby Custard and looked back up at him.

"What is in this custard exactly?" he asked.

"It is made of Bombleberries and cream," Tub-Tub said, shrugging. "It has been eaten by our kind since the first Teletubbie sat foot upon this planet. Now eat up before it gets warm."

The Doctor glanced at Rose. He stuck one finger into the custard and sucked on it.

"How's it taste?" Rose asked.

The Doctor shrugged.

"Not bad," he said.

"Yes, it's delicious! Now eat!" Tub-Tub urged them.

The Doctor stared at him warily while he picked up a wooden spoon and began to eat the custard. Rose picked off some of the rabbit meat with her fingers and put it in her mouth.

"Mmmm, pretty good," she said.

The Doctor glanced at her. He picked off some of the meat from his rabbit and ate it while Rose tried the custard. Rose smacked her lips.

"This stuff is good," she said.

"Rabbit's not bad either," the Doctor admitted.

"I'm so glad you like it. Now eat up," Tub-Tub said.

Rose and the Doctor devoured their meal. The Doctor still had his misgivings about the whole situation and something told him they shouldn't eat the food, but it was so good he just couldn't stop himself from eating it. He glanced over at Rose and saw she was eating just as quickly as he was. She looked up and gave him a guilty look when he noticed her shoveling the Tubby Custard into her mouth as fast as she could.

"It's good," she said between the mouthfuls of Tubby Custard.

The Doctor frowned. Something was wrong here, very wrong.

"Rose, put the bowl down," he ordered her.

Rose stared at him.

"Why? This stuff is good, Doctor."

"Just do it, Rose, now!"

Rose stared at him, confused, while she slowly sat the bowl down in front of her.

"But, you're not finished yet," Tub-Tub said, stepping forward.

The Doctor gave him a wary look.

"Yes, we are. We're both full now," he said.

"But, you can't be. The bowls aren't empty yet."

The Doctor narrowed his eyes at him.

"And why is it so important that we finish everything?" he asked Tub-Tub.

"Because we went to all this trouble to fix it for you," Tub-Tub replied. "It would be a shame to waste all this food."

"He's right, Doctor…We really should…"

The Doctor jerked his head around when he heard Rose let out an enormous yawn.

"Oh, sorry, I guess I'm feeling a bit sleepy," Rose said rubbing her eyes.

The Doctor's eyes widened when he noticed Rose becoming drowsy. He jerked his head back around at Tub-Tub.

"What have you done?" he said, angrily.

"What do you mean, what have we done? We've fed you," Tub-Tub said innocently.

The Doctor glanced back at Rose and saw her head was dropping onto her chest and her eyes were now barely open.

"You've put something in the food! That's why Rose is getting so sleepy! What have you done to her?"

"I'm sorry, Doctor, but I'm afraid you and Rose must now serve a purpose bigger than yourselves," Tub-Tub said.

"What purpose? What do you mean?"

He saw Tub-Tub nod his head and turned around just in time to see Tinky-Winky bring Tub-Tub's staff down hard on his head. Then, everything went black.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

The Doctor groaned and opened his eyes. He tried to move and found that he couldn't. Looking down, he noticed he was tied up, stripped to the waist and lying on one of the stone tables. He glanced over and saw to his horror that Rose was lying unconscious on the other table bound and stripped to the waist. He looked over to his other side and saw Tub-Tub looking down at him.

"What is this?" the Doctor demanded. "What are you planning to do with us?"

"You and your friend must be sacrificed to Gerber," Tub-Tub said, pointing to the baby overhead.

The Doctor looked up and saw Gerber staring down at him. The smile on its face seemed almost satanic to him given their situation. He looked back over at Tub-Tub.

"Leave Rose out of this. Sacrifice me!" he said.

"I'm afraid that's not possible. We need two hearts to appease Gerber," Tub-Tub said.

"Good, because I have two hearts all on my own. Now let Rose go!" the Doctor said.

He looked back over when he heard Rose groan and saw her open her eyes.

"Doctor…what's going on?" she said softly.

"I was right, that's what's going on," The Doctor said grimly.

Rose grunted while she tried to break free of her bonds. She looked over at Tub-Tub.

"What's going on?" she asked him.

"You and your friend are going to be sacrificed to Gerber and your hearts will be used as an offering to ensure His continued blessings."

"What!?" Rose said in disbelief. "No, wait, you have got to be kidding me!"

Tub-Tub pulled a long sacrificial knife out of the red bag.

"Oh trust me, Rose. I don't think they're kidding at all," the Doctor said while Tub-Tub walked over to him.

Tub-Tub held the knife aloft over the Doctor's body while he looked up at the sun baby.

"Oh, Gerber, revered lord of the Teletubbies," he intoned. "Bless this sacrifice and receive these stranger's hearts as a tribute to your greatness."

The Doctor's eyes widened. Rose's suspicions about the sun baby's ability to move independently were confirmed when he saw the baby sink lower to the arena and watch Tub-Tub with fascination.

GAH-GOOOOOOOOOOO! He cooed

Tub-Tub turned to the assembled Teletubbies.

"Gerber is pleased!" he announced triumphantly.

The Teletubbies cheered.

Meanwhile, the Doctor managed to put his hand into the pocket of his trousers and slowly pull out his sonic screwdriver. While Tub-Tub continued to address the masses, he manipulated it around in his hand until it was pointing at the ropes around his chest. He turned the screwdriver on and glanced at Tub-Tub while the ropes began to smoke and burn. Rose watched nervously and muttered "Come on, come on," as the sonic screwdriver slowly burned through the ropes. She looked over to the Teletubbie guards on her other side and noticed they were too busy listening to Tub-Tub to see what the Doctor was doing.

"Ah, gotcha!" the Doctor muttered.

Rose turned her head back around and noticed that the ropes on the Doctor's chest had snapped open and he was now concentrating on the ropes around his legs.

"May Gerber bless us for the coming year and bring us all that we require. And may He…"

The Doctor kept his eyes on Tub-Tub while he continued to make his speech. The ropes around his legs snapped and the Doctor slowly moved his sonic screwdriver down his leg concentrating on the ropes around his ankles. Rose watched while he began to burn through those. She glanced back at the guards and groaned when she noticed the littlest one was looking straight at the Doctor with a curious expression on her face.

"Bollocks," she muttered when she saw that she was heading towards the Doctor so she could get a closer look at what he was doing.

She looked back at the Doctor and saw he was completely absorbed in burning through the ropes around his ankles and had no idea that he had been spotted. Thinking quick, she raised her head while the little Teletubbie was walking around her table towards the Doctor.

"Hey! You, um…Dipsy," she said.

She frowned when the Teletubbie ignored her.

"Um…Laa-Laa?" she said.

The Teletubbie continued to ignore her while she walked towards the other table.

"Po!" she tried.

She breathed a sigh of relief when the Teletubbie stopped at the sound of her name and walked over to her.

"Wotcha!" she said, forcing a smile onto her face.

"Eh-oh!" Po said happily.

"How are you?" Rose asked her hoping to keep her occupied long enough for the Doctor to escape.

Po giggled and rocked back and forth in front of her.

"Can you count to ten?" Rose asked her.

By this time the other guards had walked up curious as to what was going on. Rose smiled at them.

"Can you count to ten?" she asked the others.

The Teletubbies looked at each other and began to count to ten in unison.

"That's right! Very good!" Rose said.

She glanced over at the Doctor and breathed a sigh of relief when the last rope snapped.

"And now, we begin the blood sacrifice!" Tub-Tub said at the same time.

He turned and paused when he saw the Doctor sit up on the table and swing his legs over the side.

"Stirring speech there, personally I think the masses loved it," he said to Tub-Tub. "Unfortunately, I'm afraid it was all for naught since there won't be any blood sacrifices today."

Tub-Tub stared at him. He looked over at his guards who were crowded around Rose singing the ABC song with her. Tub-Tub became livid when he saw that his guards hadn't noticed what the Doctor had done.

"Guards!" he bellowed.

The four Teletubbies stopped and looked over at him. They paused when they saw the Doctor sitting on the table grinning at them.

"Uh-ooooooooooooooh!" they said in unison.

"Well put!" the Doctor said.

Before they could react, he swung his legs over and jumped off the table. Pushing Po out of the way, he grabbed their clothes from the ground beside the table, swung them over his arm and jumped off. Tub Tub tried to stop him but he quickly shoved him to the ground.

"WHO'S UP FOR A GAME OF HIDE AND SEEK!" he said to the guards while he ran to the other table and quickly burned through Rose's ropes.

"ME, ME, ME!" the Teletubbies said happily while they jumped up and down.

"Great! We'll hide then and you come find us!" The Doctor said.

"OKAY!" the Teletubbies said happily.

"No, you fools! After them!" Tub-Tub said angrily, struggling to get his tubby body back up while the Teletubbies hid their eyes with their hands and began to count to 100.

The guards paused and looked at him in confusion.

"No play?" Tinky-Winky said sadly.

"No! We need them back here in order to complete the sacrifice. I…"

He sighed when he finally managed to get up.

"Never mind. I have another idea. Tinky-Winky, go to the guard house by the arena. Go there and….RELEASE NOO-NOO!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He and Rose quickly ran away from the arena.

"That was a brilliant distraction on your part, Tyler," he said proudly as she quickly put her clothes back on. "I never would have been able to escape if you hadn't thought that up."

"Well, I figured if they have the minds of toddlers, then they need to be diverted when you don't want them to do something. I learned that babysitting my cousins."

"I'm proud of ya!"

"Yup, I guess there is something to be said for the domestic life, eh?"

"Um…no, I wouldn't go that far actually," the Doctor said making a face.

He looked back at the arena and saw Tinky-Winky running towards a hill house near the arena.

"But no time to argue the pros and cons of domesticity now. Let's haul ass back to the TARDIS and get off this planet before baby Beelzebub up there gets our hearts on a stick!"

They sped off running between the hill houses as fast as their legs would take them. Rose glanced up and saw Gerber was following along in the sky watching them with an evil smile on his face. She and the Doctor glanced at each other and ran faster. When they cleared the last hill house, the Doctor began kicking bunnies out of their way. Both he and Rose panted and puffed and strained ever muscle in their body in an attempt to get to the TARDIS. Finally, they ran out of breath and paused on the top of one of the hills gasping for air. The Doctor glanced up and smiled when he saw they only had four more hills left to go before they reached the TARDIS.

"Doctor!"

The Doctor felt Rose grab his arm. He looked at her and saw she was pointing back behind them. He turned and frowned when he noticed an odd contraption staring at them two hills away. The thing had a blue barrel-shaped body, googly eyes and a long black hose on the front of it.

"What is that?" Rose asked the Doctor.

Their eyes widened when the creature raised the hose into the air and trumpeted angrily like an elephant.

"Trouble! That's what it is!" the Doctor cried as the contraption sped down the hill towards them. "Run, Rose!"

He grabbed her hand and ran down the hill while Noo-Noo gave chase. They gasped and panted and dodged flying bunnies as Noo-Noo sucked up the rabbits with its hose and expelled them. They ran up one hill, than another straining with all their might to reach the safety of the TARDIS just two hills away. Suddenly, Rose let out a scream. The Doctor turned just in time to see Noo-Noo sucking her leg up into its hose and pulling her backwards.

"Doctor!" Rose screamed while she tried to grab grass, rocks, bunnies; anything that would stop the creature pulling her away from the Doctor.

"Oh no you don't, you demonic hunk o' junk! No one drags my Rose through bunny shite and lives to tell about it!" the Doctor said grabbing his sonic screwdriver.

He ran after Noo-Noo and aimed the sonic screwdriver at its front. For a moment, nothing happened. Then, to the Doctor's relief, Noo-Noo began to smoke and sputter and it finally broke down and with a whine became still. Rose let out a breath as the Doctor bent down and pulled her leg free from the hose.

"You okay?" He asked her as he helped her to stand.

"Yeah."

She turned and kicked Noo-Noo hard. She smiled when the thing tipped over and hit the ground with a bang.

"That felt good," Rose said.

The Doctor looked up and noticed Gerber was coming down close to the planet. He gave a demonic laugh when his blue eyes turned red.

"Um…I think we better get back to the TARDIS now before we get barbecued," the Doctor said.

Rose looked at Gerber. She grabbed the Doctor's hand and they sprinted towards the TARDIS while Gerber followed them scorching the planet and barbecuing bunnies in its wake. Rose felt like her lungs were about to burst as she and the Doctor ran for their lives. Just when she thought she couldn't take another step, they reached the front door of the TARDIS. The Doctor quickly opened it, grabbed Rose's hand and pulled her inside. As Gerber neared the TARDIS, the door shut and a few seconds later the TARDIS dematerialized and left the planet while Gerber cried and threw a tantrum in frustration. He hovered above the flaming ground for a moment crying and wailing. Then suddenly he ceased crying and smiled when he thought of the Teletubbies. Wondering what they were up to now, Gerber forgot all about the Doctor and Rose as he sailed back up into the air in search of them.

(End of second planet.)


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

The TARDIS door opened and Rose stepped out onto the surface of Parabelcio. She looked around and noticed that the planet resembled Earth. Green grass, blue sky, yellow sun. It was a bright sunny day.

"Doctor, this planet is just like Earth," she said.

At least, that's what she intended to say. She moved her mouth and her tongue and teeth and lips formed the words, but to her horror no sound came out. Panicked, she spoke trying desperately to make sound come from her lips. As she kept moving her mouth, she suddenly felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned and looked at the Doctor. He was pointing up above her head. She stared up at a big white bubble floating in space above her head. In the center of it in big, black, bold letters was…

**OH, MY GOD, WHAT'S HAPPENED TO MY VOICE? I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF. DOCTOR! DOCTOR! WHAT'S HAPPENED TO ME?  
**  
She watched while the bubble faded away. She looked at the Doctor, confused. She moved her mouth and no sound came out. She let out a silent yell of frustration. The Doctor pointed up to the spot above her head and she looked up to see another bubble above her head.

**WHAT'S GOING ON? WHY CAN I SEE MY WORDS AND--ARRRRGH! WHY CAN'T I HEAR MYSELF?  
**  
The Doctor tapped Rose's shoulder while she watched the bubble fade away. He pointed to the spot above his head and began to speak. As soon as he moved his lips, a bubble appeared over his head. Rose read the big, bold letters in it.

**THIS IS THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING. PARABELCIO IS A WORLD WITHOUT SOUND. WITH ONE SPECIAL EXCEPTION, EVERYONE ON THIS PLANET SPEAKS WITH SPEECH BUBBLES. YOU HAVE TO READ WHAT THEY SAY. THAT IS WHY WE CAN'T HEAR OURSELVES; THE PLANET'S ATMOSPHERE HAS MUTED OUR VOICES.  
**  
Rose watched while the bubble faded away.

**THAT ISN'T ALL YOU CAN DO HERE,** the Doctor added. **WATCH!**

The Doctor paused a moment and then he feigned open-mouthed shock. Rose watched while a big, red exclamation mark appeared over his head. He smiled and pointed to it. It hovered for a moment over his head and then it disappeared.

**AND YOU CAN ALSO DO THIS.**

He paused a moment and then scratched his head while he gave Rose a confused look. Rose watched as a big, blue question mark appeared over his head.

**BRILLIANT!** Rose said.

The Doctor read her word and nodded.

**YES, IT'S A FASCINATING PLANET TO SAY THE LEAST, AND HERE, YOU REALLY DO SAY THE LEAST. ANYWAY, LET'S GO EXPLORING AND SEE WHAT WE CAN SEE.**

Rose nodded. They took each other's hands and walked off in search of adventure.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rose and the Doctor walked through the grassy field. A light summer breeze was blowing and Rose smiled taking in the sights of Parabelcio. The planet resembled Earth so much that she would have sworn they had landed there if not for the absence of speech. Rose had walked ahead of the Doctor and was now strolling a few feet in front of him enjoying the pleasant day.

Rose turned her head to ask the Doctor about something. She frowned when she noticed a speech bubble hovering over his head. Her eyebrow rose when she read…

**WOW, LOOK AT ROSE'S BUM. SO DELECTIBLE. BOY, WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE TO THROW HER DOWN ON THE GROUND AND SHAG HER, RIGHT NOW!**

He gave her a sheepish grin when she eyed him.

**WHAT? A GUY CAN'T THINK OUT LOUD?** he said.

He gave her an innocent look when she rolled her eyes and turned her head back around.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After about twenty minutes, they finally came upon two people standing several feet away. Both of them seemed to be in a heated argument. The speech bubbles were alternating between the two of them while they silently yelled at each other. A little dog sat nearby. When they neared, the dog noticed them and ran over barking silently at them. The Doctor and Rose looked at the tiny speech bubble above its head.

**ARF ARF!**

The Doctor smiled and bent down to scratch behind the dog's left ear. The Dog wagged its tail, and licked the Doctor's hand. The Doctor and Rose resumed walking towards the men while the dog trailed along behind them. They got a few feet away from the pair and stopped. Both men looked like they were in their mid-twenties. One man was dressed in a royal blue tunic with brown hair and a bushy beard. The other was blonde, clean shaven and dressed in an orange tunic. Both of them were gesturing wildly as they kept their eyes on the speech bubbles above their heads.

**YOU MUST BE CRAZY IF YOU THINK ZANIA LIKES YOU!** the man in the blue tunic said. **SHE'S IN LOVE WITH ME!**

**NO, I THINK YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S MISTAKEN**, the man in the orange tunic replied. **ZANIA IS IN LOVE WITH ME!**

**OH YEAH, WHEN DID YOU REACH THAT CONCLUSION?**

WHEN SHE KISSED ME ON THE LIPS!

P'EH, YOU MUST HAVE BEEN DREAMING THAT, MATE. ZANIA WOULDN'T KISS SOMEONE AS UGLY AS YOU!  
  
While the two men argued, the dog ran around their legs barking furiously. Rose smiled as she watched little speech bubbles appear above its head with **ARF ARF **and **BOW WOW** inside them.

**I'M NOT THE UGLY ONE HERE!** the man in the orange tunic said.

**OH NO, YOU EVER LOOK IN A MIRROR? YOU'D HAVE MORE LUCK SLEEPING WITH DRAX HERE THAN YOU WOULD WITH ZANIA**, the man in the blue tunic said pointing down to the dog.

**I WOULDN'T TALK! YOU--**

The man in the orange tunic noticed the Doctor and Rose for the first time. He stared at them for a moment while a big, blue question mark appeared over his head and then he glared at them.

**OI! WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS? WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING STANDING THERE? THIS IS A PRIVATE CONVERSATION!** he said as the man in the blue tunic turned and glared at them.

**YEAH, PISS OFF!** the man in the blue tunic said.

**I'M SORRY,** the Doctor said. **MY FRIEND AND I WERE JUST WALKING ALONG AND NOTICED YOU TWO OUT HERE AND WE WERE WONDERING WHAT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT SO WE WANDERED OVER HERE.**

IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT! the man in the orange tunic said. **NOW GO ON YOUR WAY, BEFORE TELIOS AND I START USING OUR FISTS ON YA!**

OI, NOW WAIT A MOMENT. WE DIDN'T MEAN ANY HARM, Rose said, indignantly. **WE WERE JUST CURIOUS!**

WELL, NOW YOU KNOW WHAT WE'VE BEEN ARGUING ABOUT, the man in the blue tunic said. **YOUR CURIOSITY IS SATISFIED, SO CLEAR OFF!**

Rose looked at the Doctor.

**COME ON, ROSE, LET'S LEAVE THEM TO THEIR ARGUMENT**, he said.

Rose nodded. She followed the Doctor while the two men glared at them. Once they were far enough away, the two men resumed arguing with one another while the dog ran around them barking.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After about a half hour, they reached a fairly large city. The Doctor and Rose walked into it and looked around as masses of people stood around them yelling and talking silently. Rose read some of the speech bubbles of the people as they passed by. One man was hailing a taxi; one woman was chastising her daughter for wandering off. A man stood on the street corner in front of a small cart selling something he called Picsalatis. One man seemed to be telling a police officer he had just been mugged. Rose was fascinated by it all. She had grown so used to the silence that it came as a shock to her when she actually heard someone yelling nearby.

"LOOK, I'M TRAPPED IN A BOX!" the man was screaming.

She stopped short and stared up at the Doctor as a big, blue question mark appeared over her head. The Doctor smiled at her.

**THAT'S THE EXCEPTION I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT**, he said to her. **COME WITH ME AND I'LL SHOW YOU.  
**  
Rose nodded and followed him down a side street. Rose heard the man's voice growing louder and louder while they came closer. A lone voice floating along in a sea of silence.

"LOOK AT THIS BOX! IT'S HUGE! THERE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ANY WAY OUT! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?" the man was saying.

They came out of an alley and saw the man standing in the midst of a huge crowd of people. He was dressed in a black spandex body suit, wearing a black bowler hat and had white makeup on his face. He had his hands out in front of him as if he was feeling something. Rose stared at him as he walked along feeling the air in front of him. She looked up at the Doctor who was grinning.

**THIS IS THE ONLY EXCEPTION TO THE NO TALKING RULE HERE. ROSE, THIS IS THIS PLANET'S VERSION OF A MIME!** he said to her.

The mime turned to his left and felt the air.

"OH MY, THERE IS A WALL ON THIS SIDE TOO. IS THERE NO WAY OUT?" he yelled while he mimed feeling the box.

Rose laughed.

**HA, HA, HA, HA**, her bubble said.

The Doctor grinned and put his arm around her. They watched while the mime pressed an imaginary button.

"NOW I'M WAITING FOR THE LIFT!" the mime announced.

He folded his arms over his chest and tapped his foot impatiently while the crowd took pictures and threw coins at his feet.

"OH! HERE IS THE LIFT! NOW I AM GOING IN!" he said taking a few paces.

He pushed an imaginary button and stood in the "lift" as the crowd watched him.

"OH NO, THE LIFT CABLE IS SNAPPING! he announced while he threw his arms up, panicked. "NOW IT'S FALLING! I'M GOING TO DIE!

He screamed and waved his arms around. Then, he jumped up and fell down to the ground.

"NOW I AM DEAD!" he said, lying there.

The crowd applauded silently and threw more coins at him while the mime stood up and bowed.

**BLIMEY, THEY MUST BE STARVING FOR ENTERTAINMENT HERE,** Rose said to the Doctor.

The Doctor laughed and nodded.

**COME ON, ROSE, LET'S SEE IF WE CAN FIND SOMETHING TO EAT,** he said to her.

Rose nodded. Taking his hand, they walked off as the mime cried out...

"NOW I AM WALKING AGAINST THE WIND. MY, IT SURE IS WINDY OUT HERE!"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

(Meanwhile, in a building not far from where our intrepid explorers are currently at…)

**ARE YOU SURE THIS IS A WISE MOVE, SALTIS?**

Saltis turned from the open window and looked at his aide, Jenner, who was standing in front of his desk.

**I BELIEVE IT IS, JENNER. I BELIEVE A MILITARY COUP IS IN ORDER. I WISH TO SEIZE TOTAL CONTROL OF THIS PLANET.  
**  
**BUT, THE PEOPLE HAVE HAD FREE ELECTIONS FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS! THEY HAVE NEVER HAD A DICTATOR.**

THEN, IT IS TIME FOR THINGS TO CHANGE. I WORKED VERY HARD TO GET ELECTED TO THE POSITION OF PRESIDENT AND I DO NOT INTEND TO RELINQUISH IT AFTER SIX SHORT YEARS. NOT WHEN I HAVE SO MANY GRAND IDEAS FOR WHAT I WANT TO DO NOW THAT I AM IN POWER. I WILL TAKE OVER THE GOVERNMENT, ASSASSINATE THE SENATE MEMBERS AND INSTALL MYSELF AS THE LIFETIME RULER OF PARABELCIO.

THE PEOPLE WILL RESIST.  
  
Saltis grinned.

**WHICH IS PRECISELY WHY I'M GETTING THE ARMY BEHIND ME. WITH ALL THOSE TROOPS TO PUT DOWN ANY RESISTANCE AND ENFORCE MY COMMANDS I WILL BE UNSTOPPABLE. NOW ALL THAT IS LEFT IS TO WAIT UNTIL THE RIGHT TIME AND--  
**  
"Now I am going down the stairs. Here I go! My, there are a lot of stairs."

Saltis rolled his eyes.

**JENNER, SHUT THE WINDOW. THAT MIME IS GIVING ME A HEADACHE! **he said.

Jenner nodded and closed the window.

**THERE, THAT'S BETTER. NOW I CAN THINK CLEARLY. THAT'S ANOTHER THING THAT WILL CHANGE WHEN I AM DICTATOR. I WILL GET RID OF ALL THOSE INSUFFERABLE MIMES! NO ONE WILL BE ALLOWED TO SPEAK ON MY PLANET!**

WHAT ABOUT RETINA? Jenner asked.

**WHAT ABOUT THEM?**

WELL, WE HAVE TRADED WITH THEM FOR ALMOST TWO CENTURIES NOW. ARE YOU GOING TO ALLOW THEM TO CONTINUE THE TRADE AGREEMENT?

YES, WITHIN REASON. OF COURSE, THERE WILL BE RESTRICTIONS.

THEY WILL OBJECT. A FREE AND OPEN MARKET HAS ALWAYS EXISTED BETWEEN OUR TWO PLANETS.

NOT WHEN I GET THROUGH WITH THE CHANGES I WISH TO IMPLEMENT. WHEN I AM DONE CONSOLIDATING MY POWER, WE WILL CONCENTRATE MORE ON BUILDING UP OUR MILITARY MIGHT!  
  
Jenner frowned.

**FOR WHAT REASON?**

Saltis stared at him in disbelief.

WHY, TO INVADE, YOU STUPID IDIOT! YOU DON'T THINK FOR ONE SECOND I'M GONNA BE HAPPY JUST RULING THIS PLANET, DO YOU?

BUT, PARABELCIO IS A PEACEFUL PLANET. WE'VE NEVER GONE TO WAR. WE'VE ALWAYS SUPPORTED A POLICY OF NEUTRALITY.

THAT WILL CHANGE! Saltis screamed. HOW MANY TIMES MUST I MAKE THAT CLEAR TO YOU! ONCE THE COUP IS FINISHED, I WILL BE RUNNING THINGS AROUND HERE AND I WISH TO BEGIN PLANETARY CONQUEST AS SOON AS I AM ABLE! THAT IS WHY I WILL RESTRICT TRADE WITH RETINA, BECAUSE EVENTUALLY I WILL TAKE OVER THEIR PLANET AS WELL! I JUST WANT TO CONTINUE RELATIONS LONG ENOUGH TO LURE THEIR GOVERNMENT INTO COMPLACENCY SO WHEN I DO STRIKE THEM, THEY WILL BE SO SURPRISED THEY WON'T BE ABLE TO MOUNT A DEFENSE AGAINST ME QUICKLY ENOUGH.

He glared at Jenner when he started to back away towards the door.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING? Saltis demanded.

COUNT ME OUT. I WANT NO PART OF THIS! He replied.

Saltis glared at him.

EXCUSE ME?

YOU READ ME. I DON'T WANT ANY PART OF THIS COUP OR YOUR PLANS FOR RULING THE GALAXY!

ARE YOU TURNING AGAINST ME? Saltis said menacingly.

NO, BECAUSE I WAS NEVER WITH THIS IDIOTIC PLAN IN THE FIRST PLACE! WHEN I BECAME YOUR ADVISER, I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT THINGS WOULD BE RUN THE SAME WAY THEY HAVE BEEN RUN FOR CENTURIES. YOU LIED TO THE PUBLIC, THE SENATE, AND ME WHEN YOU RAN FOR OFFICE. YOU KEPT YOUR TRUE INTENTIONS A SECRET SO YOU WOULD GET ELECTED. I AM COMPLETELY AGAINST THIS COUP OF YOURS AND I INTEND TO TELL THE SENATE EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE UP TO, SO THEY'LL THROW YOU IN PRISON FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

OH, REALLY, WELL THEN I GUESS I CAN'T ALLOW YOU TO LIVE IF YOU'RE GOING TO GO RUNNING TO THE SENATE, NOW CAN I?

Suddenly, he darted around the desk and lunged at Jenner. He gasped as he grabbed him and silently slammed him up against the door.

YOU KNOW, THERE IS ONE ADVANTAGE TO THIS PLANET. WHEN I KILL YOU, NO ONE WILL HEAR YOU SCREAM!

PLEASE LET ME LIVE, I HAVE A WIFE AND FAMILY.

Saltis shrugged.

SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE YOU DECIDED TO THREATEN ME.

He lifted Jenner up off the ground and walked with him calmly towards the window.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Doctor and Rose walked along enjoying the sights. It was just after lunchtime and all the workers were back at their places of business, so the streets were now deserted. Now even the mime had moved off somewhere else. Rose was enjoying the complete quiet. It was a nice change from some of the noisier, busier planets they had been to over the past few weeks. She had even gotten past the eerie feeling of hearing nothing at all and was busy taking in everything around them just like a typical tourist.

They paused beside a tall, granite, office building to admire a statue of a man and a woman dancing. Rose smiled taking in the soft smiles on the frozen faces. Whoever had sculpted it had done a fantastic job. She put her arms around the Doctor's back and stared at it. He tapped her on the shoulder and she looked over.

VERY PRETTY, ISN'T IT? He said pointing to it.

Rose nodded.

YES, IT IS.

They admired it a moment more and then turned to go somewhere else. Both of the gasped silently when they saw someone sprawled out on the steps of the building behind him, injured and bleeding. The Doctor and Rose sprinted up the steps and knelt beside him.

WHAT HAPPENED? The Doctor asked.

HE THREW ME OUT THE WINDOW! The man replied.

WHO? WHO DID? The Doctor said angrily.

SALTIS BAZARIA, OUR NEW LEADER. HE'S COMPLETELY CRAZY. HE WANTS TO STAGE A MILITARY COUP AND TAKE OVER THE PLANET. PLEASE, YOU HAVE TO TELL THE SENATE BEFORE HE DOES IT.

The Doctor glanced up at the building trying to see inside any of the windows. He saw one that was open several floors up, but he couldn't see anyone near it. He looked back down at the dying man.

PLEASE, SOMEONE NEEDS TO STOP HIM. HE WANTS TO TAKE OVER THE GAL…

The Doctor and Rose watched in horror as his eyes rolled back in his head and he died. As his last speech bubble faded away into nothing, the Doctor gritted his teeth and stared back up at the building. He looked at Rose.

COME ON, ROSE, LET'S GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE DIES! He said to her.

They got up and marched straight into the office building determined to find some answers.

High above them, Saltis inched closer to the open window and made a mental note of the two interlopers as he watched them walking into the building.

SO, THAT FOOL MANAGED TO GET A MESSAGE TO THESE TWO BEFORE HE DIED? He said to himself. WELL, THEN, I SUPPOSE THEY'LL JUST HAVE TO DIE AS WELL.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

The Doctor and Rose entered the building and walked up to the receptionist. She was sitting behind a huge desk with her back turned away from them while she talked to someone on a video phone. The Doctor leaned over, tapped her on the shoulder, and leaned back up, as he noticed a question mark form over her head. She swiveled around in her chair and eyed them both.

**MAY I HELP YOU?  
**  
The Doctor nodded.

**YES, SOMEONE WAS JUST PUSHED OUT OF ONE OF THE WINDOWS OF THIS BUILDING. HE'S LYING OUT FRONT AT THE MOMENT, AND I NEED YOU TO CALL THE POLICE.  
**  
The receptionist gave him a skeptical look. She looked past him and then, looked back.

**SIR, I HAVE NO TIME FOR JOKES. I'M BUSY.  
**  
The Doctor's mouth dropped open.

**I'M NOT JOKING. THERE IS A DEAD MAN JUST OUTSIDE THE DOOR! SOMEONE PUSHED HIM, AND…  
**  
He trailed off when the receptionist pointed past him. He turned, and exclamation marks appeared over his and Rose's heads when they noticed that the body was gone. They turned back to the receptionist, who gave them an annoyed look.

**NOW, DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER BUSINESS HERE? BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T, YOU CAN TAKE YOUR LITTLE PRANK ELSEWHERE. I AM EXTREMELY BUSY, AND I'M NOT IN THE MOOD.  
**  
She pointed back to the video phone, and the angry man on the screen.

**I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT CLIENT ON HOLD, AT THE MOMENT, AND I NEED TO GET BACK TO MY CONVERSATION.**

I'M TELLING YOU, SOMEONE WAS JUST PUSHED OUT OF ONE OF THE WINDOWS!

SIR…

I MEAN IT! THERE HAS BEEN A MURDER HERE, AND SOMEONE JUST MOVED THE BODY! NOW, WILL YOU PLEASE CALL THE POLICE?

I'LL CALL THEM, BUT IT'LL BE FOR THE TWO OF YOU. NOW, KINDLY REMOVE YOURSELVES FROM THE PREMISES BEFORE I DO JUST THAT.  
  
The Doctor glowered at her. He looked at Rose.

**COME ON, ROSE, LET'S GO. MISS BUSYBODY IS APPARENTLY TOO INVOLVED WITH HER IMPORTANT CLIENT TO HELP US. WE'LL SORT THIS OUT OURSELVES.  
**  
Rose nodded. She turned with the Doctor and headed towards the revolving door. As she walked, she looked off to her right and noticed there was someone standing in a corridor watching the two of them with a wary look in his eyes. Rose grabbed the Doctor's hand, and she held up a finger when he gave her a quizzical look. He watched while she walked over to the man, who was obviously startled since he had an exclamation mark over his head. The Doctor narrowed his eyes and leaned up against the plate glass beside the door, while he watched what Rose was going to do.

**HEY! DID YOU SEE A MAN FALL OUT OF A WINDOW JUST NOW?  
**  
The Doctor studied him. The man looked flustered, but whether it was because Rose was questioning him, or he was annoyed she was bothering him, he couldn't tell. An amused grin spread over his face when Rose planted her hands on her hips waiting for him to respond. She sighed angrily, when he didn't answer her

**WELL? DID YOU SEE A MAN FALL OUT OF A WINDOW JUST NOW, OR NOT?**

NO, I DID NOT. SO, YOU CAN GO AWAY AND STOP BOTHERING ME. IN FACT, I BELIEVE MURIEL TOLD YOU TO LEAVE JUST NOW, DIDN'T SHE? IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD TAKE HER ADVICE BEFORE YOU FIND YOURSELF IN A PRISON CELL.

FOR WHAT? ASKING YOU IF YOU SAW SOMEONE DIE? WHY DOES IT BOTHER YOU SO MUCH THAT I ASKED YOU THAT. UNLESS, YOU'RE LYING TO ME AND HIDING SOMETHING.  
  
The Doctor raised his eyebrows when he saw how incensed the man got upon hearing that.

**EXCUSE ME, LITTLE GIRL, YOU DON'T KNOW ME, SO, THEREFORE, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TALK TO ME IN THAT MANNER! HOW DARE YOU EVEN SUGGEST THAT I'M LYING TO YOU. YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHO YOU ARE DEALING WITH. I…  
**  
It was at this point that the Doctor decided to step in, before Rose found herself walking out with two black eyes. The man shot him a look of death when he stepped up beside her.

**EXCUSE ME, BUT DOES THIS INSOLENT, LITTLE WHELP BELONG TO YOU? IF SHE DOES, THEN I SUGGEST YOU TAKE HER OUT OF HERE BEFORE I CALL SECURITY!**

WE WILL GO. HOWEVER, MY ASSOCIATE DOES HAVE A POINT. ALL SHE ASKED YOU IS IF YOU HAD SEEN SOMEONE GET PUSHED OUT OF ONE OF THE WINDOWS OF THIS BUILDING. YOU APPARENTLY FLEW OFF THE HANDLE AT THAT, WHICH LED HER TO BELIEVE YOU WERE COVERING UP THE TRUTH, WHICH LED HER TO FORGET HER MANNERS AND ASK IF YOU REALLY WERE COVERING UP THE TRUTH. NOW, I APOLOGIZE PROFUSELY FOR HER RUDENESS AND FOR BEING SO DIRECT. I HAVE CAUTIONED HER MANY A TIME ABOUT BEING SO BLUNT. THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME I HAVE HAD TO DEAL WITH THIS, I ASSURE YOU. I HAD AN AUSTRAILIAN GIRL WHO TRAVELED WITH ME WHO DID MUCH THE SAME AND ENDED UP BEING KNOWN AS A MOUTH ON LEGS. I TRIED TO CAUTION BOTH HER, AND ROSE, HERE, ABOUT TONING IT DOWN, BUT, IN ONE EAR, OUT THE OTHER. I MUST ADMIT IT HAS A LOT TO DO WITH ME. I'VE PICKED UP THE REPUTATION AS BEING BLUNT AND TO THE POINT AND ALSO SOMETHING OF A RAMBLER, ALTHOUGH FOR THE LIFE OF ME, I CAN'T THINK WHY PEOPLE THINK THIS. I DON'T THINK I RAMBLE ON AND ON. I THINK I'M EXTREMELY BRIEF AND CONCISE, IT'S EVERYONE ELSE WHO CAN'T KEEP UP WITH ME, AND FREQUENTLY, I HAVE TO STOP AND BACKTRACK AND REPEAT MY THOUGHT, SO THEY'LL GET IT. BUT, THAT'S NOT RAMBLING IN MY OPINION, THAT'S JUST CLARIFYING MY POSITION. IT'S NOT THE SAME THING, YOU SEE. RAMBLING IS WHAN YOU JUST SPOUT OFF A LOT OF STREAM-OF-CONCIOUSNESS NONSENSE THAT HAS NO POINT WHATSOEVER. I NEVER DO THAT! EVERYTHING I SAY HAS A DEFINITE POINT TO IT. I NEVER MINCE WORDS AT ALL. I NEVER SPEAK, UNLESS I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, AND THEN, I SAY JUST WHAT I NEED TO SAY, AND I SHUT UP. I...  
  
Rose noticed that the guy was trying desperately to keep up with the words in his speech bubble. His eyes were moving up and down so fast, she felt sure that any minute they would roll back in his head. She figured she had better stop the Doctor before he talked for an hour, and they were thrown in jail for giving the man a headache and eyestrain. She tapped him on the shoulder. The Doctor looked at her, and she pointed up to his speech bubble. The Doctor was taken aback when he saw how full it was. His eyes boggled when he saw the teeny weenie, cramped words.

**BLIMEY, DID I SAY ALL THAT? WOW, I GUESS I DO RAMBLE A BIT, DON'T I?**

He gave the man a sheepish grin.

**SORRY, I GUESS MY REPUTATION AS A RAMBLER IS SOMEWHAT DESERVED, BUT, YOU SEE, I STILL DON'T THINK…**

ENOUGH!

The Doctor and Rose flinched when the man screamed the word so loudly; it made an enormous speech balloon over his head. The Doctor stared at his red face and clenched teeth, and he tapped Rose on the shoulder.

**RIGHT, I THINK WE'RE DONE HERE, ROSE. TIME WE MOVED ON.  
**  
They turned and gasped when they saw Muriel standing behind them.

**DIDN'T I TELL YOU LOT TO GET OUT OF HERE ABOUT FIFTEEN MINUTES AGO?  
**  
The Doctor gave her a winning smile.

**YES, AND WE ARE LEAVING NOW, THANKS.  
**  
He looked back at the man.

**MY APOLOGIES FOR DISTURBING YOU, MISTER…  
**  
The man glared at him, silently. The Doctor sighed.

**RIGHT, WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY, THEN. COME ON, ROSE.  
**  
He took her hand and started off. When they neared the door, Rose glanced back and pulled on the Doctor's hand. The Doctor shot her a warning look, but, he turned his head when Rose gestured frantically back to the corridor. The Doctor's mouth dropped open when he read Muriel's speech balloon.

**DOUGRAY JUST CALLED, MISTER BAZARIA, HE WANTS TO MEET YOU AT FIVE O'CLOCK.  
**  
Rose looked at him.

**BAZARIA, ISN'T THAT THE PERSON THE MAN SAID SHOVED HIM OUT…  
**  
She was cut off, when the Doctor threw his hand over her mouth.

**WE'LL DISCUSS THIS OUTSIDE, COME ALONG NOW, ROSE, BEFORE THEY CALL THE COPS.  
**  
He let go of her mouth. Rose nodded and took his hand, as the two of them hurried outside to talk in private.


End file.
